| catch-up |
[30 Jan 2007|01:28am] |
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Ok, so where do I start?
Firstly, I had a very good new year's. Christina and Nat came with me. Fun night. Got home at around 430, Christina and Nat slept over. Very fun.
What else? Danny Mac had a kegger- crazy fun. Highly enjoyed it.
I had one of the best sessions ever at the unit one night when me, Lucas and Paul went. The night was filled with long amounts of time spent waiting but in the end, it was worth it. That was such a good night.
I'm in a band now- have I posted about that yet? Harley Quinn whaaaat! Check them out here: www.myspace.com/harleyquinntoronto or here: www.purevolume.com/harleyquinntoronto My first show with them was at El Mocambo and I loved it. The next night we had a show in St. Catharines which was a night I will never forget and can't wait to tell my grandkids about (which won't happen because I don't want kids... which is sad because I do want grandkids). I felt like suck a rockstar even though it's on a very small scale. We opened up for a band called Old Toby which was craazy good. We got a really good response from the people who saw us. Me and Jon drank and drunk Jon is very very fun.
Oh, I'm also on pills now. Yay pills! They've been helping I guess. I also have low iron.
I'm addicted to Bully on PS2. Someone help. Marco's turning me into a video game nerd.
It was Billy's birthday not too long ago and he got hooked up with box seats to the Raptors/Celtics game for him and twelve friends. It was awesome. Unlimited free food and open bar. We all got drunk, the Raptors won, we went to a bar afterwards, me and Testa played pool (I have no idea who won or how it ended) and then went to Capo's apartment. Marc threw up on his floor and it was disgusting. Worst thing I've ever smelt in my life. Must've been all that free food...
Harley Quinn at Lee's Palace! (with me on bass!)
Feb. 1 @ Lee's Palace- 529 Bloor St. W
$4 Cover at door
19+ event
Harley Quinn takes the stage around 10:15pm
Subway Directions: One and a half blocks east of Bathurst. Exit the TTC at the BATHURST subway.
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2  I'm not ok, trust me.
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[26 Dec 2006|04:34pm] |
So I hope everyone had a good Christmas!
Mine was fantastic. I love my family, I love love love love loooove my family. It was so much fun this year. I would post pictures but I'm lazy and Facebook has slowly taken over my internet time.
I hope everyone had a fun, safe Christmas and Happy New Years!!
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I'm not ok, trust me.
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[04 Dec 2006|12:06am] |
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wind it up- gwen stefani |
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Dominion Christmas party on Friday. I had a pretty awesome night. Open bar = good times. Marco came and picked us up. I had a really fun night.
Last night I went to Milestone's with Marco, his friend Marc and his girlfriend. I had a Bellini which is a frozen blend of premium white rum, peach liqueur and champagne, topped with Boone's sangria. It tasted like a slushie. Very delicious. I reccomend it to anyone. Afterwards me and Marco went back to his house, watched TV and slept.
I cannot stop listening to Gwen Stefani's new song, Wind It Up. I love it. I love it. I love it.
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4 I'm not ok, trust me.
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[22 Nov 2006|12:05am] |
So life has been not too shabby lately. I've been getting the van from time to time, which has been fun. Driving is everything I imagined it would be. Ha ha. My weekends have been fun and filled with booze- so there aren't many complaints there. I went to a party in Bolton not too long ago which was pretty fun (this guy's house was crazy... he even had a pimp-ass golf cart to drive around his property). The Moose & Firkin has also become a regular place, and I'm starting to love it there- but I'm sure I'll eventually get sick of it just as everyone else has. But I'm underage and new to the bar so I'm still loving it. I've been running into plenty of people there- my sister's old friends from high school mostly. Last Friday I saw Mikey, which some can remember him from way back as my Ecuadorian drummer. It was such a trip to see him again and I loved loved loved catching up with him. Me and Marco have been going good lately, which has made me happy. He's trying to kick his WoW addiction- which I'm thankful for. I hate that game.
Tonight I got the van and went off to the Unit. We watched old episodes of Goosebumps that JP downloaded. Ohhh what a blast from my past. That show was so horrible, but I still love it. We went to Wendy's afterwards and me and Sandro raced along Aberdeen, which was horrible. Bad decisions were made, people were almost killed, but in the end everything and everyone is fine. And that's what's important.
I guess that mini van still has some juice left in her.
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1 I'm not ok, trust me.
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[19 Nov 2006|02:29am] |
By the end of my grade twelve year, I was nothing other than a complete and utter mess. Looking back on it makes me feel completely disgusted with myself. So many poor decisions. I was, to put it simple, a pathetic pothead. I can't even begin to put into words how much I hated my life then (although there were definteily postiive aspects of it). The last year has been a whirlwind though. I've gone through so much and changed so much as a person. I had hated myself so sat comfortably in the niche of someone who relied solely on drugs. I sound like an after school special, or one of those people who come to schools to tell you how bad drugs are, but everything I'm writing is sincerely true. When I try to think back on all the things I did last year, how I acted, how I thought- it's sad. Utterly sad. I hope I never enter a part of my life like that again. I lied. All the time. About everything. Paranoia surrounded my every day life, everytime my mother calling me to talk to me, I would sketch out. Yes I do still smoke occassionally, but now it is for completely different reasons. The affects of that period in my life are definitely lasting- my brain's a mess, my thoughts are a mess, I'm jolty and fidgety, I can't concentrate, I no longer have any sense of time, to remember what I just did takes me time to remember and recollect. Every day is a blur, with time meaning nothing to me- everything's a blur, minutes, seconds- all a blur. When I stop to think about it, there's no way I can be upset with Catherine and how our relationship ended. I wouldn't have wanted to be friends with me either.
And that's all I have to say about that.
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5 I'm not ok, trust me.
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[11 Nov 2006|06:29pm] |
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I am now an insured, licensed G2 driver.
Now all I need is some sort of vehicle to actually drive. As for now, the rare moments I do drive, it is with my pimp-ass family minivan.
I am balling.
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2 I'm not ok, trust me.
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[23 Oct 2006|12:27am] |
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So in my last post, I had mentioned how I had won Silverstein tickets from the Inside Edge. I was supposed to work at 5 but since I had to be at the Edge before 6 to pick the tickets up, I had gotten off work early and left at 4:30. I had called Marco at that time and told him we had to leave at 5, to be there in time. After getting home, getting changed, printing directions and all that I had called him to say it was time to be off. However, when I called him he had yet to take a shower or even remove himself from in front of his computer screen. Now that he had his World of Warcraft account back, he had spent the entire time playing. Let me state for the record now, I hate World of Warcraft. We ended up leaving at around 5:30, there was crazy traffic and we got to the Edge at 6:30. So, we did not go to the Silverstein concert. Marco, feeling terrible, said he would take me out to eat wherever I wanted. So we went to a portuguese restaurant I used to go to when I was a kid at College and Ossington. It was delicious. Then we went to Novaera (a portuguese bakery) for coffee and pastries. So I still had a good night, even though we didn't go to the show. We went back to his house and had the silliest, weirdest time. It was lovely though.
To back track, on Friday Marco's mom invited me over for dinner. She was leaving for Scotland that night, so they had Marco's birthday celebration that night. Dinner was delicious, his family is amazing. I went to grad afterwards. I wasn't going to go. But I wanted to see my friends and hear Danica's speech. I had my moments of crying, seeing all my friends in their gowns. And also, Masi's parents were there and from where I was sitting I could see them perfectly. Watching them crying broke my heart, and I couldn't help but cry. After the ceremony, it was amazing to see everybody. Everyone seemed genuinely happy to see me as well, and it gave me such a natural high. I think it was just what I needed. When Marco and his friend Dan came to pick me up, I was so happy- Marco has asked if I had been drinking. But seeing everyone just made me genuinely happy. That night, I drank with Marco, Dan, Little Dan and Labate. We got mad drunk, hung around and then later walked the streets drunk. Pictures from the night below.
Saturday I had plans to do something with Lucas and/or Sara. Lucas had gone to Stouffville to some haunted house with his brothers and sister. I went with Sara to the mall and then she went back home, and I went to Marco's house. We drank at Jay's house. Good conversations arose- about God, space, drugs and so much more. It was a very refreshing and fun conversation. I sincerely love hanging out with Marco's friends.
Good night.
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I'm not ok, trust me.
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[19 Oct 2006|12:06am] |
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lotion- deftones |
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I am addicted to Laguna. I am loving the third season.
So I decided on a quick post before I go to sleep. School has been... alright. I'm trying to get by and I am now only taking two classes this semester (so technically I'm a part-time student). The relationship between me and my parents have been pretty crazy and changing dramatically over the past weeks. They had found my shaft and we had gotten into a huge fight (I was pretty drunk at the time). Then later on in the week, me and my mother had an interesting "heart-to-heart". The whole mood of this house has been changing pretty frequently, with my sister or mother hating me one day and then not the next. It's all very confusing.
Last Saturday, I went to a wedding with Marco. I got to the hotel, changed and we were off to the hall with Jay and his girlfriend (pretty late- sadly, we missed the antipasto). At first, it was pretty awkward. I hate weddings. But Marco's friends are all super sweet and eventually, the drinking began. The whole night was fun and in the end, I'm glad I went. We taxied it back to the hotel and I can't really remember the order of events after that. I remember me and Marco eating pizza pockets off of cardboard flaps from the 2-4 box, Jay and Dan stopping by our hotel room for a bit and also, Marco being the amazing person he is, he had put rose petals on the bed and surprised me with flowers. That was such a surprise for me and was one of the sweetest things a guy's done for me. The next morning, we got a wake up call from Daniela waking us up so we could go for our free breakfast at the hotel. Apparently, breakfast ended at 10am and not 11am like we thought. Paul went on a bit of a rampage. We gathered our things and me and Marco went to Cora's for breakfast. I felt sicker and more hungover than I ever had in my entire life. Words cannot describe how shitty I felt. After breakfast (I barely ate anything), me and Marco napped at his house for a bit. I had to go to work that day, but left after 2 hours because I felt waaay too sick.
Oh, I also got a haircut. And I'm quite pleased with it. Hooray.
I finally also decided on my tattoo and plan to get it before the end of the year.
I also won Silverstein tickets from the Inside Edge! Yay!
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4 I'm not ok, trust me.
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[08 Oct 2006|02:06am] |
Today was amazing.
Marco took me to the zoo today, after weeks of me begging him to. The weather was gorgeous- a more perfect day couldn't have been planned. Two twin baby tigers were recently born at the zoo and it is ridiculous how cute they are. i wanted to take one home. Sadly, there were no penguins and Marco was highly upset. But the day was still amazing. It made me oh, so happy. I'm still smiling from it.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
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5 I'm not ok, trust me.
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[04 Oct 2006|12:00am] |
So after yesterday, I wasn't sure if I'd ever get out of bed or accomplish anything ever again. It was a day that I don't even know how to begin describing. My mind was a huge mess, I felt disgusted with myself and came home to realize I don't feel safe anywhere. I had a bit of an episode, I guess some would call it. I went into a different state of mind and don't remember specifics until my sister came into the room and I was huddled by the bed, crying and scratching my arms. My room was somewhat trashed after I had been looking for the pic I got from Finch which was no longer to be seen after my mother had decided that nothing of mine is important. I'm missing clothes, important papers and important guitar pics. It was a horribly mind exhausting day and to be honest I'm not quite sure how I got through it. The whole day I had been trying to sort out what was going on inside my head and what the hell's the matter with me. I tried not to break down during work- seeing as how I'm at work- but once I got home and saw my room I eventually lost it. Fuck, yesterday was horrible.
But the good thing that came through yesterday was I realized that although many people have decided to walk past me and forget me, I'll always have people who truly care about me. For one and most important, my sister. Although she drives me absolutely crazy alot of the time, treats me like a second-class citizen from time to time and even sometimes acts like a complete hypocrite, she's an amazing sister who sincerely loves me and cares about me. I couldn't ask for anything more.
Also, the counsellours who I've been working with at school are sincerely looking out for me and rooting for me. It boggles my mind how little they know of me, or even my situation, but just know I'm in need and that's enough. They're all looking out for me and hoping I get myself back on track. All my teachers have also been supportive, giving me time to catch up and get back on my feet. I couldn't ask for better people who are concerned about me at school.
After a day like yesterday, it's odd to think back and remember how happy I was today throughout the whole day. I got up, went to all my classes, caught up with what I could, had spare last so I went home early and walked home with Simao. The sun was shining and me and my sister went to LaSenza for some quick shopping. I did some homework and then waited outside for Marco to pick me up, when I saw Paul and Mitri walking home which was a pleasant surprise. Tonight with Marco was amazing. Dinner at Kelsey's, then watched The Protector and then napped at his house.
I don't know how I got to be so lucky. I hope I can always try to remember the things I've realized today.
Thursday is my first meeting with the school psychologist.
Wish me luck.
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2 I'm not ok, trust me.
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[27 Sep 2006|04:01pm] |
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I don't know how I forgot to mention this. But on Saturday, when I got home after the Tool show, I was surpised with a Magic Bullet! I can't remember the last time I got so excited over an appliance. Six-second chicken salad! Six-second quesadillas! I love love love love it. On a much more depressing note, Mr. Hayes left me a message today on my machine. He pretty much was informing me of his intention of kicking me out of school. I walked to the school as quickly as I could and waited to speak with him. We had a little meeting and basically, I need to start going to class or I'm outta there. He also wants me to start seeing the school therapist.
I'm officially mentally unstable.
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5 I'm not ok, trust me.
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[25 Sep 2006|03:23pm] |
Quick post before I go to work.
Thursday was my G2 test. I drove perfectly and then majorly fucked up on the reverse parking. So I failed. Am I ever going to reverse park in my entire life? Unlikely.
Friday was a PA Day and Marco didn't end up going to work. So he came over in the morning and lounged in bed. Then me, him and some of his buddies went to go watch Jackass Number Two. How can a movie be so good? I don't understand. It was amazing. That night I hung out with Marco and his friends once again. I went to his house and watched him and Dan play Dead Rising on Xbox 360 for a bit (but drank as well so I didn't mind thaaat much). We went by Jay's house for a bit after that, drank, got food and then his friends went to Windy's while me and Marco hung out just us two. It was fun.
Saturday was Tool Day. The concert was incredible. How can a band be so good? Everyone in that band are utter gods. I can't even put into words the feelings that were going through me as I watched that show. They literally connected with nature, as their songs went along with the rain which made the whole experience that much better and that much trippier. The best show I've ever been to, hands down.
I'm off to work now. It's Mitri's first day today. It should be hiii-llarious.
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I'm not ok, trust me.
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[20 Sep 2006|11:34pm] |
Life's been interesting lately.
Work is same ol' same ol'. Oh, exciting news- Mitri is a new member of Dominion. Exciting, no? I think so. Worked alot this week, hoping the paycheques coming up will be relatively sweet.
Time with Marco lately has been stupendous. I'm loving the time spent with him. And his friends are pretty crazy fun and am glad I get along with them. So drinking with them has been in order lately. I've definitely had some memorable nights. Such as somehow ending up in a crackhead's house, which was full of bottles and dog hair while we all sat uncomfortably trying to think of a way to leave without offending the crazy man. But once he bust out the Xbox and started freestyle rappin', we quickly made an excuse, dodged it outta there and went to Jay's to share the story of the crackhead. Late nights at Mr. Sub's has also been fun, since that place is juuumping, playing the best music while Marco's friend drunkily danced.
School has been....uh, interesting. My new "school crew" if you will consists mainly of Datcu, OTB, Tim and Sicluna. The other day while Chris continuously sprayed OTB with hairspray, OTB yelled, "I smell like whore!" It was pretty hillarious and it stayed with me. Those kids play too much Smash Brothers for their own good.
I blazed today (I hadn't in like, 5 days) and then went to work. That was something. I was way more blitzed compared to the other times I've gone stoned to work. Everything up to my first break is pretty much a blur.
I'm addicted to Laguna Beach. I'm loving this season so far. But that's just between us, ok?
Tool concert Saturday!! Maynard's been sick lately though and has been cancelling some shows. I sincerely pray they do not cancel this show. Maybe to postpone it wouldn't be all that bad, seeing as how it's supposed to rain on Saturday and I have lawn tickets. Soooomeone's gonna get sick.
Marco's friend is getting married and I'm apparently going? It feels weird but it's him and his friends so it shan't be too awkward. But we'll see how that works out...
Jackass Number Two comes out on Friday!! I'm ridiculously excited for it! I'm going on Friday once Marco gets off work. We're planning on going relatively early as to avoid the crowds. I've been watching season two of Viva La Bam on mtv.ca and good God, I love that show! I need to buy season 2 and 3! It's a must!!
My G2 test is tomorrow.... I'm so nervous. I sincerely hope I pass. So I can finally start driving.
In my pimp-ass mini van!!
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I'm not ok, trust me.
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[15 Sep 2006|07:29pm] |
If I ever look forward to anything, it gets fucked up.
I hate everyone.
Fuck everything right now.
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2 I'm not ok, trust me.
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[06 Sep 2006|01:55pm] |
Yesterday was one of the most horrible days of my life. Going back for a year is making me ridiculously depressed. I don't know how I'm going to last a year. I know I should make the best of it, blah blah blah, but it sucks. I wish I didn't fuck up so bad last year. But I guess it's done now and there's nothing else I can do. I came home and cried, and then I had to go to work.
I hated it so much yesterday that I didn't even go today.
This is a very bad start.
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5 I'm not ok, trust me.
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[03 Sep 2006|02:45pm] |
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I need to update since these past couple days have been pretty crazy fun and I've probably been drinking way too much for my own good.
So the Family Values show was ridiculously amazing. I loooved it. I had drank on the bus and subway ride there so by the time we got to the ampitheatre I was pretty sloshed. Dom had passed out during the Deftones set so security had kicked him out. At the end of the show, we went to go and find Dom. And we found him walking around- shivering, alone and confused. As he came closer we saw that he had whiskers drawn on his face and his ear and the left side of his face had been completely written all over. What happened is after getting kicked out, he just passed out outside in public. And the Ex was happening so there were people everywhere and someone had decided to take advantage of him as he was passed out. They had also written 'Dickhead' and 'I [Heart] Cock' on his shirt and we saw on the subway ride home they had written 'Asshole' on his shoe. So Dom passing out at the Ex was definitely my highlight. Oh, I also puked my brains out during the Korn set on the lawns...but we don't have to get into that.
Danica's party [ahhh shout-out to Danica] on Friday was soooo fucking killer. The best thing about Danica is that she's friends with everyone so so many people from different cliques showed up. Me and Lucas walked there and somehow we, along with Nick, Drew, Fig, Danny Mac etc., were the first ones there. We tried playing a drinking game but it ended with us yelling and getting angry since the game was confusing and dumb. So our new game was we all sit around and drink. We all got drunk so in the end, it was a good game. More and more and more people came. I eventually called Marco to come and after convincing Jay, they came with a couple of their other friends. I'm glad they did since I had a killer time with all of them. I can't remember any more highlights. I remember trying to find the IKEA catalogue to show one of Marco's friends the dog with the boner. But it had mysteriously disappeared. Odd, no? Linda had also been coming in and out, always with hillarious topics when she was outside with us. Such as her seeing the future, her loving Crupi and upsetting Danny Mac by telling him God didn't exist. .A couple of us also got into a good discussion about Kurt Cobain and Nirvana and Pearl Jam and such. Danica sadly got sick so at around 2am Linda came outside to inform us all to leave. So that was the end of that night. I got home at 2am and I'm still alive. Which is pretty sweet. I'm starting to try to break 'em in.
Last night I went with Marco to his friend Jay's house for some drinking. It was pretty lame at first, as it was just a couple of us sitting around drinking and watching UFC. But then we played a really awesome drinking game and we all got drunk fast and the night was more enjoyable haha. They have a little kitten which is probably the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life. The night was another really good night and I got home at around 130am. And I'm still not dead. That's just weird.
Today I spent the day with Amanda as she's leaving for Waterloo tomorrow (insert sobs here). She came over and I gave her her gift, which she loved which I'm so happy she did. She got teary-eyed so my goal was met. We went to Galaxie Diner and since the service is so damn slow (I don't care, the food's still amazing and cheap) we got to spend a good chunk of time together. We went to Hallmark and HMV afterwards. I'm gonna miss her so damn much. But Waterloo is only an hour away so roadtrips are definteily in order. And she'll come back on weekends and everything. Ah, I'm so excited for her. She's gonna have such a good time.
Tuesday begins school. Fuuuuuuuuuuuck. Another year at that hellhole. Let's hope I can smarten up this year and actually accomplsih anything
Yes, let's hope.
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I'm not ok, trust me.
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[27 Aug 2006|01:19pm] |
Quick update before I go to work.
Summer has been fun. I finished my volunteer work on Friday and I must say, it's ridiculously easy to get attached to those kids. I teared a little as a couple of the kids brought gifts and asked for e-mails and numbers to stay in touch. I'm so glad I was able to be a part of that program this summer.
Labate's party was on Friday and it was (surprisingly) ridiculously fun. I shan't go to details now but it was definitely a good end to the summer (and hopefully, I've made some friends for next year. Sweeeeet). I crashed there and then for Golden Griddle in the morning. That afternoon, the parents were gone all day so before I went to work, Mitri and JP came over for some grilled cheese and bongs in the basement. And then Lucas came over too for some bongs as well. Bongs are the best cure for a hangover.
Family Values tomorrow!!! I'm so excited to see, once again, the motherfuckin' Deftones! And of course, motherfuckin' Korn. I'm going with Mitri, Dom, San, James and Cheeks. And Rocky's going too with his friends so I'll prolly chill with him as well. We just need to figure out how the deuce we're getting there...
Oh, also- Happy Birthday to my dearests Jackie and Linda whose brithdays were both this week.
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1 I'm not ok, trust me.
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[21 Aug 2006|12:14am] |
I finally got a new battery for my digital camera. So I finally uploaded my pictures from prom.
The End.
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10 I'm not ok, trust me.
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[17 Aug 2006|07:20am] |
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locked v. - To confine or exclude by or as if by means of a lock
I get it.
If everyone wants me to leave, you all can just say so. I don't need to feel like a criminal at home.
Every time I walk by that door, I cry. Did you know that? Do you even care? Unlikely.
Well, that's fine. Fuck you, too.
I'm starting to learn that depending on people isn't the smartest move.
I'm starting to question every thing about myself, my personality. And I couldn't hate it more.
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3 I'm not ok, trust me.
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